Innocence Chapter 1

I hope you sincerely enjoy the first free chapter of Innocence exclusive coming to you for kindle download on 14th May 2015 with Secret Cravings Publishing, Amazon and many other kindle downloads! 

Innocence Blurb

 

Calvin Edwards has everything he could dream about— perfect lifestyle, running the family real-estate company back in London. He takes a holiday up north to visit his parents only to find a young pregnant woman attempting to take her life. Wishing to help, Calvin becomes a friend to her, only fears he’s out of his depth. Just when he thinks he can do this his past resurfaces, sending his life crashing.

 

Kacey is pregnant and her life is out of control with nowhere left to go. She descends on her mum for one last chance for help, only to have the door slammed in her face. At her wits end, she is alone, scared, and helpless until Calvin comes along. He becomes a dear friend giving her kindness, something she thought no longer existed in the world. Only she finds what she’d pushed to the back of her mind through selfish pain is back. Her past with all its mistakes has come back to life!

 

 

INNOCENCE

Chapter One

By

Holly J. Gill

 

 

 

“Hey there, are you okay?” he called out, as he saw the woman standing on the river bridge.

Her arms out to her sides, holding tightly onto the thick steel rail, her back pressed firmly against it for support. He walked closer to her along the river embankment, the dark muddy water flowing down stream. It was the very bridge he used to cross with his parents when he was a boy going for long country walks; it was also the way to get to the other side of the river onto their land many years ago, but now not used. The bridge was not very strong, the planks of wood had rotted in a few places and the bar across had rusted, he feared it wasn’t safe to be used these days.

He wondered how she had got here onto this private land.

He had been minding his own business, blue sky and the sun already giving off some extensive heat. He heard the sound of his shoes on the small pathway running down the river on his parents’ land. He had decided that with the weather being so glorious, he would take a stroll, embracing the quietness, listening to the sound of the birds singing in the tress. The trees were showing signs of new life, budding and the weeds on the embankment were turning green, let alone enjoying the sight of blossom on the trees giving a real true feeling spring is here after such a mild winter.

He stopped walking and checked around that there was no-one with her, he couldn’t see anyone but him and her. Mystified he strode slowly toward her. When near enough he had a clear view of her face, she looked frantic and had been crying for some time. His gaze lowered when something else caught his attention. Her pregnant bump, that looked very swollen. Her brunette coloured hair was long, hanging down with a few curls at the end. She wore a pair of black slouch pants and bright pink vest top, which clung to her round shaped tummy. The woman didn’t look very old at all. She looked stressed and emotional, sobbing her heart out. He felt it was his duty to try and talk to the woman and stop her from what she might be considering.

“My name is Calvin,” he said, wanting to gain her attention. “I’m just taking a walk, it’s a beautiful day, don’t you think?” Hoping she’d answer him. She didn’t even flinch, or glance his way but continued to stare into the water.

He gulped heavily.

The sun was low in sky, and it was warm without a cloud in sight. A perfect spring day.

“I love days like this, don’t you?” he asked, desperate for her to make conversation with him, or even notice he was there. He scrunched up his nose, and rubbed the back of his neck trying to think what he should do or what to say. All he could see, at that moment was a young expectant mother intending to take her life by flinging herself into the river.

He coughed to clear his throat. The woman remained holding onto the railing. He could tell she was quarrelling with herself to do something, and hoped to God it wasn’t what he suspected. The girl still wasn’t showing any indication that she knew he was even there. She was clearly distressed and he longed to try and help her, even if to just get her down from the bridge and to safety.

He didn’t know much about pregnancy, but he could certainly tell she was in the latter stages, due to the pure size of her tummy.

“When are you due?” he asked, furrowing his brows and tilting his head to the side, needing her to acknowledge him.

 The sun shone in his eyes, he wanted to put his sunglasses on to shield them, but it would not be appropriate, he needed her to see his eyes to show her some form of comfort. Calvin had never found himself in such a situation before. He guessed there was a first time for everything.

“I have a drink or even snacks in my car, if you would like some?” he tried a different approach, but still she held onto the railing and stared at the river. A few weeks ago, there had hardly been any water in the river, due to the dry winter, but since all the heavy rain over the last couple of days, the level had risen once again. In his mind he was suddenly annoyed with her. He thought to himself, if the river had been low she wouldn’t be standing and staring down contemplating what?

“I hope you’re not thinking about jumping in?” he scoffed, trying to add humor to the situation not having a clue what she thought or even planned on doing.

Calvin gazed at her waiting for her to respond. When, finally she slowly turned her head his way, he saw her eyes, red raw, tears streaming down her cheeks, and her expression full of fear. He had to do something and fast. She didn’t look stable at all.

“And if I was?” she snarled at him, turned in his direction and glared.

 He could tell she was annoyed that he had come along and interfered in trying to stop her doing what she wanted to do. Calvin wondered if he had time to call his mate Ross and ask him for advice, but clearly the girl was too distraught.

“Well, you see if you are thinking about jumping in, I would have to jump in after you and save you, and I cannot swim,” he added although it was a full blown lie. He’d been a swimming champion at school and his mum somewhere in the hall had the certificates and medals.

“And why would you want to jump in and save me?” she said glaring at him.

“Well, errrmmm you’re kind of expecting,” he said really needing to sound light-hearted  and sweet, still worried she wanted to jump, as the current down the river looked pretty fast.  He could see her holding tighter onto the rail. He really needed to get her down and quickly.

“And why should you care, no-one else does,” she sneered.

“Well, I care. I might not know you, but ending your life and an unborn baby surely isn’t worth it?” he said desperately needing her to come off the bridge.

“My parents have rejected me and my boyfriend…he dumped me,” she spat and started crying again.

He looked at her in dismay. How could an evil man leave a girl at such a vulnerable time, but then again he thought, the majority of men cannot handle the commitment or responsibility and find the easiest way out. Calvin hated men like that. He understood a relationship could break down, but to dump her while in such a temperamental state was crazy. At least he should’ve remained supporting her and the child.

“Oh well, he’s, surely not worth you taking your life for?”

She gazed at him horrified. “He cheated on me,” she cried. The tears trickled down her cheeks.

“What a total fool, clearly doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants, and clearly doesn’t deserve you,” he said, trying to make her see he wasn’t worth the pain and she was better than what he deserved.

“What and your Mr. Perfect?” she growled.

“No, far from it, but I would not cheat on my girlfriend and certainly not one expecting my baby, I am sure we could have find some way around any difficulties and compromised,” he said, honestly.

“Well, you don’t know anything about me or my life and I think you should just walk away and forget you even saw me,” she roared.

She turned her head away and he watched her look back down at the river.

His heart skipped beats. He rolled his tongue over his lips.

“I cannot do that. I mean, look at you,” he said desperately. He stepped forward.

“Yeah, pregnant with no-one wanting me, what is there? My baby is better off coming with me,” she said.

Calvin became more worried that she was about to jump, clearly the girl was in a bad place.

He watched her release one of her hands from the rail. “No, please, no…don’t do it. Look I can help,” he said with panic in his voice. He reacted quickly, moving forward and stretched his hands out to grab her if she went. His heart beat overtime in his chest. He held his breath that she was about to jump. “Please, I can help you,” he said, needing to show her support. Calvin did not have a clue what he was saying, but what he did know was here was a pregnant vulnerable girl thinking about taking her life.

“I have nothing, no home, no friends, and no money. I slept rough last night,” she screamed. “So don’t fucking tell me what to do. Go home and live happy…I have nothing to be happy about,” she snarled.

“But the baby, surely that is everything to live for,” he said, calmly trying to make her see sense. Bile filled his throat, he had to try harder to coax her down, but clearly she was determined.

“What…did you not frigging hear me? Get a bloody hearing aid! I have nothing, nowhere to live, how shit is that for the baby?” she said, raising her voice while, sobbing her heart out.

“But that baby! The baby has done nothing wrong, and no doubt, neither have you. You’re just having a rough time and no-one appears to care.”

“They don’t care,” she yelled at him. “I have nothing and this baby should not even be here. I had the chance to get rid and instead, I allowed my conscience to get to me. Now look at me,” she said.

He watched her hit her bump, and immediately after he heard her mutter under her breath rubbing the bump where she hit it. He knew she was scared, lonely and no-doubt at rock bottom.

“I can help you?” he said and watched her turn her head in his direction.

“How?” she said, grabbing the rail again.

Calvin had no real idea what to say, or how to deal with this situation.

“We could talk and see whether I could help you,” he said trying to reassure her.

“Why would you want to talk and help?” she asked glaring at him.

He could tell that no-one had given her the time of day. He shrugged his shoulders and frowned at her.

“Look, how about we go for coffee and chat, and see if between us we can come up with something?” he said urgently needing her to walk carefully along the thin bridge and back to dry land and safety.

“What we going to talk about?” she asked, clearly she was not stupid.

“You, and where you are, and how I can help. I am not being funny, but you clenching onto a rail and me standing here wetting myself in case you jump, isn’t making me think clearly,” he said trying to be funny.

“Well, when I jump, you will already be wet,” she spat back.

Calvin lifted his brows, stunned by her outburst, however had a point. His nerves were in knots and all he cared about right now was talking her down from the bridge and getting her to land.

“What is your name?” he asked her, needing the conversation to change direction.

“Why?”

“Because when the emergency services turn up at least I can tell them your name.” He wanted to make her realize the extent of who would come if she jumped.

“Kacey,” she told him.

“Pretty name! Do you know what you’re having?” he asked, referring to the baby.

“Girl,” she said softly, “a girl.” She placed a hand on her tummy.

He was very anxious while watching her only holding on the bar with one hand, as he knew the bridge wasn’t stable.

“Any names?” he asked, needing her to think about the baby and not her.

“No…” She paused, looking back up to him. “We don’t need to be here,” she said suddenly and started to move forward.

“No,” he screamed and stepped closer to her. “I’m sure someone would love to adopt your baby. Many people out there are not blessed enough to have their own children.” He gabbled now. “I have a friend who did IVF and it took four attempts before she fell, then she lost it at six months and had to give up on the treatment. She gave birth to a dead baby,” he said, trying anything to make her come back to land and stop her from being selfish, and full of self-pity.

But then again, was it fair of him to be saying these things to a stranger.

“Look, how about we try and talk about this. I know you’re in a bad place and no-one seems to care, but I do,” he said sympathetically.

“You don’t know anything about me. I might be a right bitch. I might…I might…” she sobbed, while lowering her tone.

It went silent for a few seconds. He watched her place the palm of her hand on her tummy and softly rubbed it. He had no idea what her plans were and hoped it wasn’t the moment, she considered to jump and end her misery.

“I have nothing,” she said lifting her head and looked immediately ahead. “I’m alone and scared and have no idea what the future holds for me. I even tried homeless places, one of those refuges too, but they were out of rooms and I couldn’t walk another mile. I am so shattered, and having this thing kicking me is not helping,” she said with hostility. “I mean its father isn’t interested. Or its grandparents. Or me. I don’t care what happens to me, I deserve nothing. I hate the fact that people just walk all over me and expect me to be stronger than I am, the truth be known I’m shitting myself. I have nothing, how can I provide for my child with nothing?” She yelled and turned her head to look at him, thinning her eyes. “They will take her away at birth. I will never see her again.”

He listened to her snivelling. Calvin had to allow her to relieve her hurt and anguish.

“I have no job, and who the hell is going to employ me, heavily expecting?”

He could not agree with her more.

“How far are you?” he asked curiously.

“Seven months. Ten weeks before she arrives and gets taken away from me forever.” She scowled at him. He could see the stress in her eyes.

Calvin had to try and get her down from the small bridge. He hoped somehow to talk her off, but sensed he had to tread carefully. Calvin was lost and had no idea how the hell to deal with her, or even if he wanted to. It would be easier to walk away, but she was expecting. She was carrying an innocent child. The girl was distressed and needed someone to reassure her. He really wished he had stayed at home, and not bothered going for a walk, but he had fancied a stroll.

“Look, let’s go to the local pub and chat. I am sure we can think of something between us,” he said scrunching up his nose.

“And why do you care?” she snapped.

Calvin shot a stare at her.

“Because, I’m trying, no wanting to do the decent thing here and help you. I don’t know you. I know nothing about your life, but what I don’t understand is why you’re thinking about doing harm, that would only cause hurt and kill that tiny baby who might have stood a chance at life.”

“With what?” she wept.

“You will love her unconditionally; you will watch her grow into a beautiful woman. Ok, Dad might not be there, but many women manage. I am sure we could go and get you help and you could start a fresh life. There is always a solution.” Aware he would have to search the internet for information, as he had no clue about benefits or single mothers.

“But I have nothing?”

“You have that little girl,” he said, pointing to her tummy.

He watched her lower her head to look at her neat bump. He longed for her to come down, but then he would stay with her until she did, there was no way he was about to turn his back on her, and if he had to jump in the river after her he would do that too, there was no way the woman was going to end her life or her baby’s.

“Do you live local?”

“No, parents live close by,” she muttered.

“Oh, my parents live close by too,” he announced. Yeah, to the point you’re on their land! “Please come down and talk about this, after all the current in the river can be nasty and I don’t fancy getting wet,” he said tiresomely, really wishing she would co-operate with him.

He watched her turn her head toward him, looking distraught.

 “Please, I can help you,” he said.

He took a few steps closer to the rail and held his hand out for her to take hold of. He knew the thin bridge wasn’t strong enough to take both their weight. “Please.” He stretched his arm out, needing her to take hold, but his main concern was hurting the baby. Calvin wasn’t a heartless man, but hell, hurting an unborn baby would be terrible.

She looked at him. She frowned. He wondered if she was considering his offer or whether she would do what she wanted too.

“Please,” he said more tenderly. Calvin scrunched up his nose in fear she still would attempt to jump.

****

Kacey was in a bad place, and resented the fact that Calvin had turned up and stopped her from jumping and finishing her existence. Deeply distraught, not knowing what the answer was to her situation. One thing was certain she could not hide the way her life had turned into a living nightmare. She stood on the bridge, gripping tightly onto the rail, while she stared down into the fast flowing river, being only minutes from the decision. Then he had to show up and ruin it all.

 

She had no hope, no one to talk to and no one to share her living hell with. She would admit she had done so many bad things, and that would be why her parents neglected her. Her life had turned into a living horror movie, but the last few months had been the most difficult. Not only had she been adapting to being alone and single, but also being pregnant and accepting it, even though people told her to go and get an abortion. She declined, outright and felt she was doing the right thing for not killing an innocent child. Only what a mistake that turned out to be.

Calvin started speaking again. “Kacey, please I would really like you to come to land and talk to me. There is a local pub, we could sit in there and…and well, talk, try and find a solution for you.”

She stared down at the river as the baby kicked, wishing it would stop doing that, and reminding her that she was there. The baby was what messed up her life. She was certain Rob would never have cheated and stayed out all hours if she hadn’t been expecting his damn baby. Instead he neglected her and went for the thin attractive girls who could give him what he wanted, sex.

Not that she refused sex, but he was either drunk, stoned on drugs and by the time he strolled into bed she was asleep. Nevertheless, she could not intimately touch him when she had no idea where and who he had been with, the risk of diseases were high and putting her baby at risk was not an option.

 Calvin interrupted her thoughts again. “Look, I understand you’re in a difficult spot, but I’m pretty sure you would not wish to harm the baby.”

“Why?” she screamed, turning her head to glare at him. “Who is going to look after her?”

“What does that mean?” he asked distressed.

“Exactly that…I am not having her passed from one person or home to another and never feeling stability. I want her to be in a stable home.”

“But you can look after her.”

Kacey looked at him in disgust. You clearly have no idea about bringing up a baby, you stupid man. Go away and leave me alone!

“What, in a nut house? Don’t think I don’t know what you are going to do! When I climb off the bridge you will call the police and have me banged up.” Aware of how some people worked, after all she had lived with scum on the run for quite some time, either that or she got pushed out the way or made to answer the door and lie to the authorities. The amount of times she wanted to tell the truth, but that would’ve placed her in a worse situation on the wrong side of Rob and his so-called friends and punters.

“I will not do that. I just simply think you are in a bad place now and need help. Hell, I have been there a few times myself.”

“Like what?” she shouted.

“I use to steal, been in prison a few times, I got in with the wrong crowd, but I sorted myself out,” he explained.

“When?”

“When what?” he asked she saw him frown.

“Did you do those things?” Boy, this man is thick…and not only that he hardly looks the type to have been in prison, he’s far too neat and doesn’t look the hard type.

“Oh, when I was a teenager,” he said.

She watched him look in the opposite direction and sensed he had something to hide. He’s telling fibs!

“Did your family disown you?” she asked, curious to know his answer, but knew his answer…well the truth.

The baby kicked again.

He looked back at her and she watched him swallow heavily. “They did, but only for a short while.”

Kacey looked at him with a little more interest. Is he telling me the truth or is he full of shit? His long dark hair covered in gel and swept down into a fringe, over his oval shaped face, from what she could tell he had dark eyes, a few days facial growth, medium build, looking a little older at a guess from herself. Cute cheek bones and his lips…she shook her head, what the hell, am I thinking about? Cross with herself.

Calvin moved away from her. She watched him turn around and walk back to the river bank and sit down on the grass

“What are you doing now?”

“Keeping an eye on you. Shame I didn’t bring a picnic, I only came out for a little walk.” He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his elbows on his knees and gazed at her.

“Oh, you don’t need to.”

“I do.”

“I’m not a child.”

“Really?” he said, lifting his brows and stared at her.

“No…I’m not.”

“Well, at least I know you’re old enough to have sex.”

“Yeah, so I had sex, and?” she scoffed.

“And nothing. You’re the one debating to chuck yourself off the bridge. I mean you could always hurry up and then I could call the emergency services and, then throw myself in after you and, then no doubt drown myself. I mean, personally I hate water, but hey, if you wish to jump, then fine. I’m right behind you. Can you swim?” he asked. Kacey glared at him.

I’m pretty shit to be honest, but who cares? “Yes, no, I can, but not very well.”

“So why pick throwing yourself into a river?”

“Less blood.” Calvin lifted his brow.

“Yeah, I can see that. Don’t do blood either?”

Kacey knew exactly what he was doing. He was trying to scare her into moving off the bridge and getting onto safe dry land.

“Do you go fishing?” he asked.

Kacey was still thinking about the previous question. She engaged in eye contact with him, wondering why the hell be brought up fishing. Then she guessed with her debating to throw herself in a fast flowing river, it might make sense to ask.

“No, do you?”

“No, my uncle does. Cannot see the point in it myself spending hours sitting by the river, or pond catching fish and then when you catch them throw them back…what is the point?”

 Kacey shrug her shoulders not having a real clue and really did not care.

“But hey,” he added and lifted his shoulders.

He suddenly jumped up onto his feet and moved down the bank closer to the river looking into the water.

 “Do you reckon there are eels in there, and pikes with those fish with nasty teeth, piranhas? Imagine that! Then there would be loads of blood.”

“Next you will be telling me there are sharks and whales,” she giggled.

He turned to glare at her horrified. “Why do you think there are?”

“No silly,” she laughed.

“Oh gutted, I remember watching the piranha film, was pretty stupid, pointless to be honest and then Jaws do you remember that film?” he asked, looking at her as she stared hard into his eyes.

“Yes, I remember. Pretty rubbish now, though.” She smiled.

“Yeah, but a classic.”

They stared at one another, Calvin said, “You look pretty when you smile.”

Kacey realized she had an awkward feeling of knots in her tummy, something she hadn’t felt in a long time. She shied away.

Annoyed she had heard him say what he did. She gained the courage to turn and glare at him. “Don’t think your charm is going to work on me.”

“Like, I would dare,” he said rubbing his chest. “Now are you coming down from there or should I call someone to bring some food and drinks as I am starving. The pub has some great meals, we could get one of those sent to us.” He winked.

“Are you just going to annoy me until I come off the bridge?”

“Yep.”

Kacey saw she had no real choice. Her legs were getting tired and she was hungry herself. “You promise not to do any funny business?” she asked with uncertainty.

“I promise, cross my heart and all that. I will not try anything,” he said while crossing his heart.

“What did you say your name was?”

“Calvin.” He smiled at her lifting his brows while grinning.

She inhaled a deep breath and decided to move her feet slowly step by step to the side toward Calvin. Her arms ached from holding the rail so tightly and found it difficult to keep her balance. She took each step unhurried. She glanced down into the river fearing she would fall in. Although, earlier she raced onto the bridge and had been determined to throw herself off.

Step by step she got closer to the embankment.

“Here, take my hand,” he said. She looked up seeing him holding his hand out to her. She grinned and reached for him. She turned her body to face him taking her steps a little faster. She was on land and remained holding his hand tightly. They stood face-to-face and she gazed deep into his brown dreamy eyes. She felt her heart skip a few beats.

He gently took steps back, keeping hold of her hands, moving her further away from the bank, “Now does that feel better?”

She gave no response but remained staring into his eyes, lost and breathless.

“Brill, come on, my car isn’t far from here,” he said and with that he released her hands and took steps away from her. Kacey lingered in the spot for a few minutes, lost in thought.  She stared back at the river, not realizing he had moved her so far away from the bridge. Shocked! Annoyed! Why have I let him do this? I wanted to finish it.

She regretted that Calvin had showed up and stopped her from doing what had been right. She could not see a way out of her current situation. And she certainly wasn’t looking forward to the baby being taken from her. She had no home, no clothes, as they all got pinched when she found a cold ally way to rest her legs and had fallen asleep. No money to even buy bread, she had nothing, but this baby moving about inside her and she resented it. She hated it when the baby started moving, reminding her of the biggest mistakes she had made, one meeting Rob and two ending up pregnant.

“Are you coming?” he shouted.

She turned her head to look at him, seeing him about ten feet in front of her.

She hesitated and could feel the sun burning her arms, she felt so hot and sticky and carrying a heavy lump inside her, was giving her back ache, let alone nerve problems in her legs, there was nothing she enjoyed about being in her condition.

Kacey grudgingly followed him, as she wouldn’t get any rest from him, and hopefully later she would lose him and return to the river. There was no point in her being on this miserable, nasty planet and as for the baby…what future did it have? A mother and father who didn’t love it! Passed from one home to the other! No doubt end up being unloved and in prison!

She waddled her way to Calvin when he stood waiting for her.

“You do know you’re on private land?”

“And so are you,” she said, overtaking him and making her way down the single file foot track.

“Yes, yes, you are right,” he said walking quickly to catch up with her.

He was right behind her while she struggled to put one foot in front of another, she was exhausted. It seemed to have been a long day, with her walking most of the journey to her parents’ house. It didn’t help that they lived in a small village with no public transport making it difficult, but luckily she had remembered the short cuts through fields and eventually made it home. Only for her mum to slam the door in her face. In disappointment, she had marched a few miles tears streaming down her face, unsure what or where she was meant to go. She hated her life and loathed what the future would give her.

Distraught, scared, and her head confused, she had continued to walk fast, unsure where the energy had come from when she’d arrived at the bridge, with the fast flowing river underneath. She moved to the side of the road bridge and looked down. She remembered the bile had filled her throat to the thoughts off throwing herself in to end her pathetic life it had seemed the only option. She’d used the back of her hand to wipe away the tears and saw the ornamental gateway onto the land and decided she would follow the track down to the river, in hope to find the perfect spot. She had found the perfect spot and now what she didn’t understand was why on earth Calvin was attempting to help her. He would soon be running for the Yorkshire hills once he heard about her years of living and breathing on the planet.

They made it back to his car which he had parked at the gateway she had entered earlier. Kacey saw a posh brand new BMW.

“I don’t own the car. I hired it,” he told her.

Like I even care about where the car came from, or who owned what. Kacey was more pissed off that he had encouraged her to climb off the bridge. She rolled her eyes.

All Kacey could do was lift her head and gaze at him while he unlocked the car.

Slowly, but surely she struggled to lower herself into the car and attempted to make herself comfortable, shuffling her bottom on the leather seat. Calvin started the engine.

“Do you live nearby?” she asked curiously.

“No. I live in London.”

Kacey turned to glare at him. How the hell could he help her then?

 

 

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